Cuddy's Juicy Gossip
by Jaunting
Summary: Dr. Cuddy hears something from Dr. House that she thinks may be interesting... An investigation ensues. House/Wilson & Other pairings. M for hormones.


Cuddy was on her pink Chaunukkah macbook as usual. Suddenly, House's screen name popped up under her buddy list on AIM. Cuddy's boobs twitched it recognition. Her hand skimmed tenderly over the keys with one hand as she stroked her nipple with the other. The conversation was as along the lines of this:

CudtheStud: Hey greg wuts shakin babe

xoxoHugglesHouseyxoxo: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey~ ^_^

Cudthestud: u didn't answer my question 20 hours of clinic duty

xoxoHugglesHouseyxoxo: bawwwwwwwwwwwwww  cumon girlfriend cut me some slack I had a rough night

Cudthestud: See house?!?!?!?1 that's ur prolem! Ur always driving people away and crtiticizing them even thou u just want to be loved and u hide behind ur leg injury

xoxoHugglesHouseyxoxo: well you hide behind ur big ass titties all the time how can u even see out from behind those things?!

Cudthestud: oh house u and ur antics. Anyway why did u have a busy night?

xoxoHugglesHouseyxoxo: … *blush* u///A///u

Cudthestud: omg this sounds like some juicy goss!

xoxoHugglesHouseyxoxo: sorry cuds cant talk now I have stuff 2 do

Cudthestud: bb

xoxoHugglesHouseyxoxo: bye and I like ur macbook btw

Cudthestud: ty! I got it for-

_xoxoHugglesHouseyxoxo has signed off_

Cuddy sighed. "That's odd! House didn't even say goodbye! I better investigate!!"

Cuddy walked down the hall. She passed by Chase, who greeted her "'Ello moite ow bout i put ma kengeroo in yer bonnet and we 'ave a noice time 'a lassie?"

"Sorry Chase not now I need to investigate something."

"Right oh then. Tew mooch blewd to be a voin!"

Cuddy only got a few more steps in before she came across the two ethnic people of the hospital; the black guy and the Indian guy. After thanking them for their service of diversifying the hospital to avoid a lawsuit Cuddy meandered on jauntily.

Cuddy came to a stop abruptly, acutely and randomly. Adjacent to her fore standing pose was the maternity ward. She tittilatingly stepped in, setting down her cute, tiny, beautiful, sexy foot on the linoleum tiles that made a ringing high C tingling. The next step, a low D. A small seizing babe in the iron lung and gang green and cancer and a sliver spoon in its mouth let out a small cry of approval at Cuddy's welcoming breasts. It hadn't been easy not being able to nurse, but Cuddy's voluptuous boobs gave him a chance.

Cuddy reached out her lotion-smooth hands and stroked the baby up and down. Its convulsions were comforting to the touch, and had the baby been closer to her pelvis it could have been stimulating and arousing. She pulled open her lab coat. The baby, pulling along the iron lung with its uncut umbilical cord, nestled up to her breast easily. The baby sucked her boobs dry, leaving them as flat as a prepubescent middle school jewish slut wearing leggings, uggs and a lime green northface's breasts who has not yet realized how hideous she is.

Cuddy felt a new sense of love that she had never felt before. She broke out in a harmless but enticing melody:

_Silent night, holy night  
All is calm, all is bright  
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child  
Holy Infant so tender and mild  
Sleep in – _

About 50 nurses filed in, screaming "HE'S SEIZING! CHASE GET THE CRASH CART!" Chase rode in a kangaroo's pouch and threw a boomerang at the baby, bringing the seizing babe to the nearest crash cart. "CLEAAHAER!" he screamed. He turned the voltage up to 5000000000 watts and applied the jelly to the babe's budding breasts. Did I mention its also a transsexual on hormone pills? Anyway Cuddy was sad because the baby died because of its serious case of Pantothenate Kinase-Associated Neurodegeneration. There was too much blood to just be a vein.

So Cuddy continues her odyssey down the really long hallways of the hospital to House's office. She paused in front of the glass doors, straightening her coat, removing her panties, pulling out her breasts and hiking up her skirt. However she wasn't prepared for what she saw in the office.

House was on the ground, being penetrated by what appeared to be a teenage vampire. However, on closer inspection it ended up to be Wilson. Both men looked up and stared at her for a few moments. Then House said "Ugh Cuddy you ruined it. Hold on my scraggly little Jew boy, let me help you out another way."

House bent down to the floor and gave Wilson a blowjob which was too glorious to describe. Afterwards House swallowed and said "Ah, mother's milk."

Wilson and Cuddy glared at him, screaming, "Oh god! Come on! Shut up House!"

House shot back, "What? WHAT?! I say it once a year!"

Cuddy snapped back into the moment all of the sudden. "Wait Wilson why are you and House having sex in House's office? Why isn't House screwing his intern things?"

"Foreman, Cameron, and Chase are just as convenient, but their association with House is involuntary. They're employees. I associate with him through choice, and any relationship that involves choice, you have to see how far you can push before it breaks." (AN: that's a quote from the show.)

Cuddy replied "…I see…" before throwing herself into the mix. House and Wilson objected and sent her away. Then they called in the faggy Australian, the faggy black guy, and faggy Indian and all the other people that could be possibly be misconstrued as gay for House by any stretch of the mind, which means the entire male population of the hospital piled into house's office and received glorious blowjobs.

_THE END._


End file.
